I’m at an impasse for the first time ever. You know that friend that you call when you’re wallowing in self pity and want a partner in your emo vibes to confirm how shitty the world is? Yah, I’m not that friend. I’m the one who will listen to your problem and unconsciously can’t help searching for a solution. It’s what I do; I solve problems. I see a problem (that I want to solve) and my mind is immediately processing. Sometimes the solutions are not ones that I like. Sometimes they take a long time to complete (which I also don’t like), but I’m never not processing possible solutions.
I’ve realized that I’ve been so focused on one particular long term goal, and left no room for any other.
I mean not completely ignoring other desires yet still prioritizing the one so intensely that I left zero consideration for anything else I may have wanted. I’ve had blinders on for such a long time that now I don’t even know what else I want. I guess when I think about it, I’ve always been laser focused. It’s how I’ve manifested anything that has come to be in my life thus far.
Only now, I feel like it doesn’t work for me anymore.
As my BFF pointed out, the long term goals are broken into short term ones. 100% true and for the first time in my life I want other short term goals which are unrelated to the life plan. Sounds simple enough and it should be easy for problem solver me to resolve. Unfortunately, it isn’t. It’s hard to solve because I don’t know what else I want. Is that a bad thing? Is it a good thing? Does it mean I won’t be happy? I’m not sure. I can’t answer those questions either… But I’m sure AF going to figure it out.